That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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