You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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