Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
