Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize