My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
