Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
