Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Randomize
