Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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