when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
