How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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