I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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