It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
