she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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