mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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