i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
