I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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