The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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