I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
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