When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
