if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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