i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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