why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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