she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
