dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize