I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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