I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
