New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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