how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
