You're my little dorito
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
