how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
