Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize