oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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