airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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