i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
