pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
