I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
