You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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