how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize