So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
