It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
