Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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