If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
