I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
