broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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