I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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