WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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