Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
