just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
