I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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