I must be too annoying 4 u.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
