I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
