My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize