I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
