You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
