in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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