carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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