she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
