I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize