Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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