did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
