Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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