Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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